Leaving home to embark on a new chapter in life as a post-secondary student is a rite of passage that many young adults eagerly anticipate. It can be an exhilarating and transformative time of newfound freedom and adventure, exploring a world beyond the comfort of home. For many young adults, however, the transition is accompanied by the challenges of emotional distress and yearning for the familiar caused by homesickness.
The first few weeks of school are typically busy with both classes and orientation events – new experiences, new people, new routines, and often some sense of urgency in figuring out the lay of the land and how to get one’s act together. By the time Thanksgiving rolls around, the fun back-to-school activities have petered out, students have gotten to know the people around them (for better or worse), and they’ve developed a clearer sense of the classwork required of them, perhaps even having had a few midterm exams. Routines have been established, and yes, this is the way it’s going to be for the next several years… It may not feel as great as expected.
Homesickness is a very common, natural emotional response to these significant life changes. It’s not just about missing the physical place one calls home; it also involves a sense of longing for the familiar faces, routines, and the support network that home provides. Homesickness can manifest in various ways, including feelings of sadness, loneliness, anxiety, and, of course, a desire to return home.
Causes of homesickness
The most significant root of homesickness is the physical separation from family and close friends and the immediate support system that they’ve been providing for years. The connections we have with loved ones are powerful, and leaving them behind can trigger feelings of loss and isolation, particularly for students who now live a long distance from home. Despite the immediacy of our technology and our ability to communicate instantly and often, we still tend to feel the distance we are from home.
Unfamiliar surroundings also trigger feelings of discomfort and nostalgia; this is a natural, biological response that urges humans to return to the safety they once knew. Students are sometimes overwhelmed by non-physical unfamiliarity as well: in this time of transition, there may be uncertainty about what lies ahead, academically and socially, which can add to their apprehension and longing for the familiar. Adjusting to a new lifestyle may be much more difficult than expected.
The academic demands of post-secondary education can also add to homesickness, as the pressure to excel academically can make the feeling of longing for home even more intense. Success in college and university courses requires a greater level of self-regulation than it did in high school, as students’ achievements are now almost entirely dependent on their own level of focus, organization and perseverance. Although professors do want their students to succeed, students are in charge of their own learning. And although there are many ways to get help with that learning, it is up to students to seek it out themselves. These new post-secondary expectations may also affect a student’s feelings of competence and belonging.
This profound impact on a student’s mental and emotional well-being may affect both their academic performance and overall post-secondary experience. A student’s feelings of sadness, anxiety and disconnection can lead to emotional distress, potentially causing them to retreat from social activities and interactions with peers, worsening the problem further. They can also manifest in physical symptoms such as headaches, sleep disturbances and digestive issues. Academically, students may have difficulty concentrating on their studies due to preoccupation with their overwhelming emotions.
How can you get over your homesickness?
It may seem overwhelming at the time, but it’s important to remember that feeling homesick is almost always a temporary situation, and it can be overcome. Begin by acknowledging and accepting these strong emotions for what they are, as recognizing your feelings can help you manage them better. Then, consider the following steps to reduce your homesickness:
- Bridge the gap between you and your family and friends. While it’s essential to embrace your new post-secondary life, maintaining regular contact with family and friends through calls, video chats, and messages can provide comfort and a sense of connection. They will want to understand what you’re going through, and can still support you from a distance.
- At the same time, try to build a support network at school: make an effort to establish new relationships with peers, roommates, and professors. Join clubs and participate in campus events to meet people who share your interests.
- Keep busy by engaging in hobbies, extracurricular activities, a part-time job or volunteer work on campus. You can also get out and explore your new surroundings, learning about the local community and connecting with the environment to feel more at home. Keeping busy can help distract you from feelings of homesickness and provide a sense of purpose or belonging.
- There are sources of support on campus for any student feeling homesick, anxious or depressed – don’t hesitate to reach out to campus counselors, therapists, or support groups if you’re struggling with homesickness. These professionals can provide valuable guidance and support, and help you get through this experience.
It’s important for students and their families to understand that homesickness is a natural and common response to the significant changes that come with starting the post-secondary experience. It’s crucial to acknowledge and address these feelings while also actively working to build a fulfilling and enjoyable experience. By staying connected, building new relationships, and seeking support when needed, students can navigate these waves of emotion and, in time, find their place in their new home away from home. Homesickness may simply fade away as they embrace the opportunity to grow, learn, and create new memories, all while cherishing the love and support of family and friends back home.
This is excellent advice!